day 9: music

This video of a labouring woman singing Psalm 23 through her contractions was so inspiring to me when I was pregnant with Ava and was preparing myself for natural childbirth. I watched this beautiful video almost every night for months before that morning I went into labour, and I downloaded the song to my iPod for the labour playlist.



During the 15 hours I laboured after I found out our baby had died, this song and many of the other ones I had downloaded took on deeper meaning. I listened to this over and over and even tried to sing parts of it through my own emotionally and physically painful contractions.

These words of affirmation became tests of my faith. The song I had listened to with such hope and promise during my pregnancy would be played at my daughter's funeral.

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The Lord is my shepherd. He makes me lie in pastures green. 
He leads me beside quiet waters that wash over me. 
Though I may walk in the shadows, his rod and his staff comfort me. 
I will recline at a table in the presence of my enemies. 
Surely, surely, goodness and mercy will follow me. 
And, I will dwell in the house of the Lord.
Close by his side, I will abide in his loving kindness...forever.
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This June, for Ava's two-year milestone, I challenged myself to sing this song during the family memorial at her grave to honour my daughter and my God. My voice cracked on the third line as I remembered how horrifying the shadow of death had been. I was so heartbroken that this singer's beautiful outcome would not be mine. But, God has been faithful to me with his comfort, and I can confidently sing again in affirmation that my baby girl is close by his side and that one day I will live there with them...forever.

Under today's prompt of "music," I also cannot fail to post this gorgeous Billy Joel song that we chose as the exit song during Ava Faith's funeral. I just love it. {You may want to grab another tissue.}



Some day we'll all be gone, but lullabies go on and on.
They never die. That's how you and I will be.




*   intro   *   day 1   *   day 2   *   day 3   *   day 3.1   *   day 4   *   day 5   *   
*   day 6   *   day 7   *   day 8   *   day 10   *
day 15




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