day 6: ritual

Our family incorporates Ava Faith into our day-to-day lives in many ways. One small way that comes to mind is every time I go through a check-out line and they are asking for $1 donations to the cause of the month, I always fill out a donation card with Ava Faith's name.

The very first time I did this was two Octobers ago, four months after Ava passed away. October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and our grocery store was raising funds for the breast health centre at Saskatoon City Hospital. Three weeks in a row I filled out a pink ribbon with Ava's name on it.

On the fourth and final week of the drive, I went to the grocery store one late night by myself. {I usually had a little sidekick.} Maybe it was the solitude, but on my way to the store I found myself sobbing. I sat in the grocery store parking lot until I regained my composure.

As I walked in, I noticed the sea of pink ribbons all across the front of the store. I thought to myself that my three Ava Faith ribbons were somewhere mixed among all of them and no one else would probably ever get to read her pretty name. But, I knew she was there, and that was all that mattered.

After I had stocked up on the weekly staples, I walked the aisles looking for the shortest line. I ended up doubling-back a bit, convinced I had passed up my quickest ticket to exit.

I put all my purchases on the conveyor belt and headed up to pay. There were four ribbons stapled together and taped to the register. I was absolutely thrilled and amazed to see I had happened to pick a register that had my baby girl's ribbon on it!

I laughed through the tears. I told the teen behind the counter that my girl's name was on the front of her register. Her look said, "Whatever." But, I knew that this was no coincidence. I was witnessing one of many tender mercies God has extended to me since the passing of my girl. I smiled all the way home.


Daily, in prayer, we ask God to tell Ava that we love and miss her. I can't help but believe that Ava is in God's presence and that she also asks Him to tell her family that she loves and misses us. This is one of many comforting messages that I have received.

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day 15



2 comments


Bec Mullaney said...

I have enjoyed your blog posts for the Capture Your Grief project. Please understand "enjoy" is not used here as typical people would interpret it, but it's used by a fellow angel momma who understands as best as anyone can. The things you say just echo my own thoughts and feelings. I'll never know you....but knowing I'm not alone gives my heart courage.

Laura Monchuk said...

Thank you very much, Bec. I am sorry for your loss. I am glad that you are able to find some encouragement here. Hugs to you!

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